Thank you

Dad can you hear me ?

I think you can

I just can’t hear you

And I miss the sound of your voice

Your laugh

Your words full of wisdom

And encouragement

I try to think of what you would say to me…

I think you would say that you are proud of me.

That you know whatever life brings me to I am ready for it.

You once told me that you could see a future for me that at the time I most definitely could not see.

That you could see me healthy

And no longer in constant pain

I remember it so well

I looked at you through my tears and I felt you asking me to believe in the future that you saw for me

Your dark brown eyes so kind,

So full of hope.

Dad, I believed you that night.

I couldn’t see the way yet

I couldn’t see the other side of all the pain that I was in.

I couldn’t see past the uncertainty

But I remember it like it was yesterday

Because in your eyes I could see it

Your certainty and your hope – I could see it so clearly

And I could feel it

I could feel how your love for me made my anxious heart grow calm.

My fears grow quiet

And your arms wrapping me in one of those hugs that only you could give —

I felt safe. I felt loved. I felt seen.

Dad, thank you

You were tired and it was late and you chose to stay right there with me in the middle of my pain and fear.

You could have went to bed and rested and said a prayer for me before falling asleep.

You had already done so much.

But you chose to reach out.

You chose to see me.

You chose love

Thank you for seeing the light at the end of my tunnel when I didn’t.

And thank you for telling me, for insisting that I listen to that promise of a hopeful future.

It changed my life.